Griffins on Gunsmoke
by Winged Dragon Ra
Summary: Family Guy and Trigun Crossover! The griffins mysteriously are sucked into the tv while watching Trigun and are now on planet gunsmoke!
1. Evil has two names Knives and Stewie!

A/N: Hhhmmm, nobody's ever made an FG and Trigun crossover fic, so I thought I'd make one!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, oh what fun I'd have if I did...  
  
Peter sat his fat ass on the sofa, where it almost always was.  
  
Lois was making dinner, Meg was doing her homework, and Chris was....in the bathroom,Brian was on the couch with Peter, and Stewie was planning some evil plot.  
  
"There's nothing good on.." Peter said aloud and reached for the remote.  
  
He gasped, as he could not find it.  
  
"Oh God Lois! The remote is gone!" He shouted in absolute horror.  
  
"Did you try looking between the couch cushion?" Lois shouted from the kitchen.  
  
Stewie came down the stairs from his room in time to catch the conversation.  
  
"Yes, fat man, did you try looking between your fat ass cheeks?"  
  
"Alright, found it!" Peter shouted, remote in hand.  
  
Just as he was about to flip the switch to turn the tv off, he saw a flash of one of his favorite shows.  
  
"Oh, Trigun's on everybody!"  
  
"Trigun!" Lois came in from the kitchen.  
  
"Trigun!" Meg put down her homework.  
  
"Trigun!" Stewie came over.  
  
"Trigun!" Brian's ears perked up.  
  
Chris came down from the bathroom,"err....what was on again?"  
  
They all sat in front of the tv screen.  
  
Chris stared at the tv in wonder,"But dad, what's it doing on so early?"  
  
"I dunno son, they move the shows around so much on adult swim."  
  
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.  
  
"Except for that one show...with that talking baby.." Meg admitted.  
  
Peter shook his head,"I forgot what that show was called..."  
  
So the family sat and watched an episode of Trigun.  
  
It was the very first episode when Vash met Milly and Meryl.  
  
Suddenly...Peter started to fell funny.  
  
"I feel funny..." He said aloud.  
  
"Well, honey, I told you not to all those bean borritos."  
  
"No, not that kinda funny..."  
  
"Now that you mention it I feel pretty weird too." Brian announced.  
  
Soon the whole family started feeling the same way and they all passed out.  
  
That is how their adventure began.....  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Peter sat up dizzily.  
  
He clutched his head, as it hurt very badly.  
  
His eyes grew wide as he spotted Meg and Stewie laying a little ways away from him.  
  
"Meg, Stewie...oh god."  
  
He shook his daughter but there was still no answer.  
  
He backed away slowly.  
  
"Ok..I'll tell Lois, Meg is in the bathroom and that Stewie....is in there with her."  
  
He nodded his head,"Yeah, that's what I'll tell her."  
  
Suddenly, Meg stirred.  
  
"Huh?" she came to consciousness.  
  
"Meg!" Peter ran over to her,"Thank god, you're out of the bathroom!"  
  
"What are you talking about dad?"  
  
She looked over to Stewie.  
  
"Oh no, Stewie are you alright?!"  
  
Stewie opened one eye,"Well of course I'm not alright you idiot girl, I'm lying here...dead for all you know."  
  
He shut his eye and resumed his stance.  
  
"...Where....are we?" Meg looked around at their surroundings.  
  
Nothing but desert sand for miles around.  
  
"We have to find some water...." Peter began.  
  
"Alright!" he shouted when he spotted a a big building with the words 'Seeds' written on it.  
  
Peter picked up Stewie and they began walking.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Stewie shouted when he noticed his father was carrying him.  
  
"Dad, are you sure we should be going there, it looks like there's no one living there." Meg announced.  
  
"Don't worry Meg, it has the word Seeds written on it right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well if they sell Seeds, they're bound to sell water right?"  
  
Meg sighed,"Yeah."  
  
By then they were almost there.  
  
Peter was the first to step in, followed by Meg.  
  
"Uh...hellooo." Peter called out.  
  
Meg started to shiver, the place gave her the creeps.  
  
They were both happy when they ran into some one.  
  
Litterally, they ran into someone, it was so dark...  
  
The man turned around,"Who the hell are you and what are you doing on my ship?!" he asked them.  
  
The man was blond with blue eyes and he wore a red and white space suit.  
  
"Uh, I'm Peter Griffin, and these are my kids...Meg and Stewie." He paused for a moment,"We saw the sign that you sold Seeds outside and we were wondering if you sold water."  
  
The man shook his head,"No, you pathetic human, we don't selll anything here, seeds is jus-"  
  
Stewie grabbed the man's gun that he was holding.  
  
He examined it,"Hmmm...nice workmanship, some of the best I've seen." he stated.  
  
"Really...you like it?" The man asked as he snatched the gun away from him,"Now, back to bussiness, I will destroy all humans."  
  
"Really? That's your goal too?!" Stewie asked in delight,"I find it quite delightful."  
  
The man rolled his eyes,"What could a HUMAN child possibly know about killing humans?"  
  
"More than you think." Stewie glared,"These stupid pathetic beings deserve to burn in hell!"  
  
The man nodded his head in agreement,"Definitely, what is your name kid?"  
  
"The name's Stewie."  
  
"I'm known as Millions Knives." He introduced himself,"You wanna come to the living room for tea and crumpets?"  
  
"Of course, that would be absolutely wonderful." Stewie grinned.  
  
Knives looked towards the other two humans.  
  
"What should I do with them?"  
  
"Hmph, I really don't care." Stewie stated,"Why don't you use them as minions or experiments, or kill them...whichever you want."  
  
"Legato!" Knives shouted.  
  
Instantly a tall blue haired man with gold eyes came walking towards them.  
  
"Legato, you now have two new members of the Gung Ho Guns."  
  
Legato looked to Meg and Peter. "Yes, Master."  
  
Knives spoke again,"They are known as..Peter the .."  
  
"Fat ass!" Stewie completed his sentence.  
  
Knives smiled,"And Meg the-"  
  
"Ugly."  
  
"Yes." Knives agreed,"Peter the Fat Ass and Meg the Ugly."  
  
Legato nodded and bowed,"Yes master."  
  
Knives motioned for Meg and Peter to follow Legato as he walked off.  
  
He and Stewie walked in the opposite direction.  
  
"You have someone bow down to you and call you master? Amazing!" Stewie praised him.  
  
A/N: More to come soon! Next chapter we'll find out what's happened to Lois, Brian, and Chris.  
  
Oh, and if you're interested, I have a new naime tp site which is really good with active members.  
  
It has a plot too, so it's not just mindless posting, lol.  
  
Here is the link if you wanna join: avidgamers.com/animeisle 


	2. Death and Life

A/N: Thanks for being patient, well here's the next chapter! I don't wanna be a fluffy pastry!!!  
  
Disclaimer: The characters all of belong do not to me  
  
Lois woke up with a splitting headache. It would appear she was in a room with dazzling neon lights everywhere. "W-where the hell am I?" she looked around, but still all she saw was brilliant lights everywhere, blinding her, "Peter!!!" she shouted, but there wasn't an answer.  
  
Her entire body throbbed...but mostly....her abdomen.... She grabbed it and it throbbed painfully. It took her a moment to realize she was in a bed....a...glowing bed..a glowing bed with really bright glowing colors.....a glowing bed with really bright glowing colors with another person besides her in it... She slowly turned over to find the face of another man, with dark skin. She bit her tongue to keep from screaming.  
  
In his sleep he muttered, " *snore* I am Brilliant Dynamites Neon, Brilliant Dynamites Neon I am, bow down to Brilliant Dynamites Neon....*snore*"  
  
Very disturbed the red head slowly got out of bed so not to wake the man. Slipping out the door she glanced over to him again..he was still sleeping like a baby...a really bright...weird...baby...  
  
She raced down the hallway eager to get out of the house at all costs, she tried to recall what had happened before she had woken up...  
  
'Peter..Chris....Stewie..Brian...and that other girl....where are you?!' She thought frantically.  
  
Fianlly she made it to the door. She swung it open and creaked ever so slightly, to reveal a world of desert all around her.  
  
"Oh...my...god.." She muttered looking around, the house she had just come out of, she realized, was the only house around for miles and miles.... ____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
"Hey Brian watch this!" Chris shouted over to the dog, "I can shoot this big ol' cross that the priest guy told me to carry!"  
  
Chris and Brian, unlike the rest of the Griffin family, had awoken a few days ago to the faces of four people whom they didn't recognize, Vash the Stampede, Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe, and Nicholas D. Wolfwood. So far they've been getting along pretty well, give or take a few qwirks. Well..back to the story.  
  
BOOM went the houses that Chris shot at with the cross punisher. Brian blinked a few times. "I need a drink.." he muttered, as he walked away, headed to the nearest saloon.  
  
"CHRIS!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!" Vash ran up to him, in a fury, looking as though he was about to burst into tears.  
  
"I shot that house...with the power of god!!!!" Chris told him proudly.  
  
Wolfwood walked over to the two, "Vash, it's ok, the people...are in a better place..." Wolfwood tried to calm him down by patting him on the back.  
  
Vash bursted into tears, "W-Wolfwood...I-I'm s-straight...no matter...h-how many shounen ai's of us...th-there are out there!" He managed to get out through sobs.  
  
"Oh don't flatter yourself needle noggin'!" Wolfwood shouted, as the two insurance girls walked over.  
  
"Oh my god...what happened?!" Meryl exclaimed looking at the ruined houses.  
  
Milly looked around at the piles of rubble everywhere, almost droping her bag of pudding she had just bought at the store.  
  
Before Vash could answer, A man appeared on the seen. Dressed in a black robe, and he seemed to be carrying..a..scythe.  
  
Milly trudged over to him, "'scuse me mister, who might you be?"  
  
"Oh hi! I'm Death, nice to meet you!" Death offered his hand to Milly to shake.  
  
Milly screamed at the fleshless hand of bone he held out to her, "M-Meryl! L-look at his hand!!!" she shouted to the other insurance girl in a panic.  
  
"Oh hello Death!" Chris yelled over, greeting Death.  
  
Vash stopped the water works and looked at Chris, "You know each other?"  
  
"Yeah! He's really cool! My dad and him got along really good!"  
  
Vash slowly walked over to Death, to greet him.  
  
"Hi, I'm Vash!" He shook Death's hand.  
  
Everyone was shocked as Vash dropped dead.  
  
"Vash!" Meryl shouted running to his aid, but it was too late...he was gone.  
  
"Oh darn, not again!" Death shouted in frustration. "Ummm...sorry bout that."  
  
Suddenly another life form appeared on the seen, this one dressed in a white robe and carrying a staff that appeared to be made of pure gold.  
  
It reached down gently and touched Vash. Vash awoke with a start.  
  
"Huh...what happened?" he asked his friends.  
  
"Life!" Death shouted over to his twin brother, Life, "Why do you have to ruin everything for me?! Mother ALWAYS liked you best!"  
  
Life just shrugged.  
  
Death reached down and touched Vash again, killing him.  
  
Life reached down as well, to ressurect him.  
  
Death bent down to kill him again, but immediately after, Life brought him back.  
  
After about the 20th round of this, Wolfwood finally shouted, "STOP! Damn, that's annoying! Let him stay alive."  
  
Life grinned, and tugged on his brother to go back to the next realm.  
  
"NO NOOOO!!!" Death shouted in arguement, while his brother pulled him back to....well..wherever they lived...  
  
"Wow! Bye Death!" Chris shouted as if nothing had happened.  
  
Vash, Wolfwood, Meryl, and Milly stared at him oddly, they knew they now had a burden on their hands..  
  
A/N: Not as funny as the last chapter, oh well, I tried my best! Next chapter is gonna be longer promise!! 


	3. Get rid of the Blue Haired Menace Part 1

A/N: Yay! I'm back! Party!  
  
Disclaimer: You know da drill mon, I no own deese characters mon!  
  
Stewie wandered down the long corridors of the SEEDS ship, hoping to find Knives.   
  
It was rather annoying to him that Knives still enjoyed the company of Legato the best..  
  
he would have to get rid of that guy...and soon.  
  
"Master the two new Gung Ho Guns just don't fit in..they don't have the special...qualities  
  
that each Gung Ho Gun must possess." Stewie heard Legato say from a room further down the   
  
corridor.  
  
"Yes.." he heard Knives reply, "I suppose you are right..you may dispose of them if you desire."  
  
"Thankyou Master." although Stewie couldn't see, he knew Legato had to of been bowing, it made  
  
him sick.  
  
'Hmph, stupid blue haired moron.' Stewie thought as he sped down the corridor to where he thought  
  
Knives was.  
  
Before Stewie had a chance to take one step into the room, Legato emerged, with his usual look of  
  
apathy.  
  
'Stay away from my Master.' Legato spoke to Stewie with his mind.  
  
'Is that a threat?!' Stewie retorted, 'Well, I have you know your "Master" enjoys my company  
  
much better than yours!'  
  
Stewie whipped around to see what Legato's face looked like but the blue haired man had already  
  
appeared to have left.  
  
Just then, Knives emerged from the room, shutting it behind him,  
  
"Ah, young Stewie, just the person I wanted to see."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We're disposing of your father and female sibling, do you mind?"  
  
"Hmph, like I would care about those simpletons."  
  
Knives nodded and walked past him.  
  
Stewie sat and thought to himself, 'Now to dispose of that blue haired menace...'  
  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Legato traveled to the kitchen of the SEEDS ship..where he was sure both Meg and Peter would be.  
  
Surely enough, when Legato reached the kitchen..there the two were..eating.   
  
Peter hummed loudly while chewing his food, which was a hotdog, and Meg seemed dazed as she chewed  
  
on her bite of cheesecake.   
  
Legato made his way over to them.  
  
"Peter. Meg. Leave, you are no longer Gung Ho Guns."  
  
"What?!" Meg looked up from her plate.  
  
"No way!" Peter shouted, "Wait- Gung Ho Guns? What kind of a name is that...wait..you aren't a   
  
part of a group that is dedicated to causing pain and suffering to a man named Vash the Stampede,  
  
because of his brother's wishes to get revenge on him for getting hurt by him are you?"  
  
"....get out." Legato told them.  
  
"Oh please Mr. Legato..I-I'll pay you, please, we have nowhere to go.."  
  
"Yeah, she'll pay you." Peter added, with a glare from Meg.  
  
Legato beckoned for them to follow him, "I'll lead you to the door."  
  
The two followed him closely to the huge metal door.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Stewie watched the three intensely from behind a corner.  
  
Meg, Legato, and Peter all stood at the door. He watched as the three stepped into the desert sand...  
  
'Wait! This is my chance!' Stewie thought to himself as he rushed to the door, and slammed it shut.  
  
'Hah, now he is stuck outside forever, I have Knives all to myself!' he mentally shouted as he rushed off  
  
to find the blond man known as Knives.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Legato struggled to open the door to the SEEDS ship, however he didn't have any luck what so ever...  
  
"Umm...Mr. Legato...is the door locked?"  
  
"Yes..I supose it is..."  
  
"Oh..well, bye." Meg replied, "C'mon dad, we need to find Mom, Brian, and Chris."  
  
"Yeah, and that twinkie factory."  
  
Legato sighed, "Wait, I will lead you to the next city." he had nothing else better to do...  
  
"Really?!" Meg shouted, "Thankyou Mr. Legato, this helps alot."  
  
Legato began to walk, ignoring Meg's praising him.   
  
He was in for a loooong journey....  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N: Waahhh I've lost my funny! This chapter is so boring, I've like rewritten it 5 times!!! 


	4. The journey begins!

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update...I've just been a bit busy.  
  
................................................................  
  
Chris and Brian sat down outside of Vash and the gang's house, bored as ever.  
  
"Where the heck is everyone, Brian?" Chris turned to the dog.  
  
"In the house...making dinner."  
  
"No, I mean Mom, Dad, Meg, and Stewie!"  
  
"Right...I don't know."  
  
"Well I say we go and find them!" Chris shouted, "C'mon Brian!"  
  
"Wait!" Vash yelled, running outside from the house, "You're not thinking of going out to find your family are you?"  
  
"...yeah, how'd you know?" Chris asked.  
  
"Oh, I heard you yelling it." Vash replied, "And I have decided to help you out, I can't leave you two defenseless out in the desert!"  
  
"I'm sure we'll be fine." Brian cut in, "I mean....what's the worse thing that could happen?"  
  
"....I'm definitely coming with you."  
  
"Wait!" Wolfwood rushed outside, "Needle noggin, you'll need my help too!"  
  
Brian sighed, "Great, the more the merrier...."  
  
"Yeah!" Chris shouted for no apparent reason.  
  
"Well," said Meryl from the doorstep, I packed you all a lunch...stew!"  
  
"Good luck!" Milly smiled from behind Meryl.  
  
"Thanks!" Chris said.  
  
And so they were off into the sunset....  
  
"To the bakery!" Vash shouted, chucking his sacked lunch into a nearby trash can.  
  
Everyone else did the same. ...................................................................................  
  
Meanwhile....at BDN's place.  
  
"Where in the hell am I?!" Lois shouted, "Where's my family?!"  
  
She went back into the house, and looked around. There were blinding lights everywhere, whoever this man was, he either was too lazy to take down his Christmas light, or was a complete and utter psycho.  
  
"Hi there, pretty baby." She heard a voice from behind her.  
  
"W-who are you, and where am I?" Lois shouted.  
  
It was a man who stepped out of the shadows, "Why we're in my lovely home, where you'll have my young 'uns, cook and clean, and serve me all day!"  
  
"N-no...not again!" Lois shouted, "P-peter, help!" ................................................................................................  
  
Meanwhile...out in the desert....  
  
"Hmmm...I could have sworn I heard Lois calling for help about now because a psycho was making her have his kids and cook and clean for him..." He shrugged, "Me and my imagination."  
  
"Dad...." Meg started, "My feet hurt...an-"  
  
"Your face must hurt too...because it's hurting me!" Peter shouted.  
  
"That wasn't funny dad...where are we?"  
  
"How could I have gotten stuck with such fools..." Legato muttered.  
  
"Ohhhh, looks like someone's cranky!" Peter yelled, walking over to Legato, "Put on a happy face now!" he pulled Legato's mouth into a creepy deranged smile.  
  
"Remove your hands from my body."  
  
"Don't worry, you'll get an extra twinkie when we get to the factory..."  
  
That was it, Legato had enough, he used his awesome psychic powers to twist Peter's arm back at him.  
  
"Ahhh! Oh god, Oh god!" Peter shouted, "No twinkies for you!" He trotted back to Meg.  
  
.......................................................................................  
  
A/N: Really sucky, and rushed, but hey, at least I updated. 


	5. Mysterious Plans and cactuses

A/N: Wow, thanks to all of you who keep reviewing! Your reviews have inspired this chapter!!!   
  
Vash and co. (after going to the bakery) set off into the distance. After days of traveling and living off the donuts they bought at the bakery, they came across a small house in the middle of the desert wasteland.  
  
"Who's house is this?" Chris said aloud.  
  
"Brilliant Dynamites Neon." Vash told them.  
  
"You told me you fought him...but not that you knew where his house was!" Wolfwood shouted in disbelief.  
  
"...I didn't..." Vash said, pointing at a huge neon sign above them, stating in big lit up letters 'Brilliant Dynamites Neon's Household (Yes, my mother did name me that)'  
  
"Oh." Brian simply stated.  
  
"HEEEEELLLPPPP!" They suddenly heard a woman shout from the inside.  
  
"Hey that sounds like mom!" Chris shouted, "Let's go help her!"  
  
................................................................................................  
  
A/N: Sorry to interrupt this wonderful suspenseful moment, but we really need to get back to Stewie at the SEEDS ship you know! .................................................................................................  
  
"Hahahahaha, I'm finally rid of that blue haired menace!" Stewie muttered out loud, "Now to get back to Millions."  
  
He turned to find a young woman behind him.  
  
"I am Dominique the Cyclops...who are you little baby?"  
  
"I am Stewie Griffin...and who are you calling baby?"  
  
"Why, you're quite the cute one." Dominique picked up Stewie, "However, you don't belong here...well, perhaps I could raise you and I could get Legato to..." a wide smile spread across her face.  
  
"Wait, what are you doing, get off of me!" Stewie shouted from Dominique's arms.  
  
...............Meanwhile.......................  
  
"Where is he?" Knives looked around, sitting down in the "torture tools" room of the SEEDS ship, "He said he'd be here an hour ago...oh well, I should have known humans couldn't be trusted...."  
  
The frustrated plant walked out of the room muttering, "Stupid humans, I'll kill you all, just wait and see, I'll destroy every one of you to the last speck of dust....blah blah blah humans I hate them blah blah...."  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
And....back out in the desert  
  
"Where in the world are we dad?" Meg asked, trying to pick sand particles from her hair.  
  
"Quagmire!" Peter shouted in awe, as he rushed ahead.  
  
"Huh?" Meg asked, "I don't see anything...."  
  
"Quagmire, ol' buddy, Joe, Cleveland too!"  
  
"Dad, I think it's a Mirage!" Meg shouted, but it was too late, Peter had already rushed into a patch of cactuses.  
  
"Cleveland, Quagmire, Joe!" Peter cried in agony, "You've all turned green, and you grew thorns!"  
  
"Humans..." Legato sighed, "What a waste of existence."  
  
Ignoring the two, Legato walked on by himself.  
  
"Wait up Mr. Bluesummers!" Meg shouted. ...........................................................................................  
  
A/N: Yawn sorry, nothing interesting, but I've got a lot of other stories to work on right now, this one is kinda being neglected sorry to say ;; but I'll work harder on making it better, I promise! 


End file.
